You know you're a Firefighter if…

You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away. You have ever had a heated debate over the color of firetrucks. You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle. You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day. You lay out your cloths from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly. You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in a fire zone or in front of a hydrant. You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust. You always wear red suspenders. You have ever slept in a hosebed. You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket. You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice. You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane. You have ever played jingle bells at Xmas time on the air horns to clear traffic. You double your weight every time you go on a job a building. You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl. You have ever had "yoda ears" You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter" You have ever smoked and there wasn't a cigarette in sight. You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water. You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.   your kids are afraid to get into water fights with you. (Barbara Manganis)   "climbing the corporate ladder" has nothing to do with career advancement. (Barbara Manganis) your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader. (Barbara Manganis) You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old. You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years. You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition. You carry enough in your car to extinguish a minor blaze. You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves. Your Own vehicle has more lights than a Christmas tree (Jim Baize) All the shirts you own say you are a firefighter (Mark Engman) You find yourself living at the fire department 365 days a year! (L. Bowlin) When you go to rent a movie, and they insist on getting Backdraft EVERY TIME! (A Wife) You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call. if you have more pagers than than money in your wallet. if the smell of a fire excites you more than sex does. if a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle. if assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire in running up hill is a good day. The microwave goes off and you run out of the house thinking it was your pager. (Tom Matthews (Madison Valley Rual Fire Dept.) Ennis Mt.) you ever tried to patent a 911 blocker with the phone company if you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it. If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off   if you have ever tested your gloves by putting a fuzzie out on your hand. (Doug) If you have ever been awakened with a CO2 extinguisher (Doug) If you have ever dried your gloves on the trucks exhaust (Doug) You know you're a firefighter when you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden. :) All your friends give you t-shirts from their departments for your birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc. if your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed to avoid being trampled in route to a call! (tara sommers) your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears the pager go off for fear of being run down.(bubaz) if you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side. (shea cooney.) If youhave more toy fire trucks than your kids do. (CHRIS CARRIER---CUBA FIRE DEPT. N.Y.) When you have ever made a jacuzzi out of a 2100 gallon dump tank and a rescue boat motor (15 horse Merc). ..It was hot!.............Watch yer toes! (The guys at Liberty Fire) When you take all of your improtant stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets before going to a training involving a portable tank. you walk into the station with you belt on and someone yells here comes batman(steve philipsen). You eat till you're sleep, then sleep till you eat. (Frank V. Union Colony Fire, Greeley Co.) You can blame the 10 lbs that you've gained on the food cooked at the station. (Frank V. Union Colony Fire, Greeley Co.) You take your other half out on a date to the fire house/hall. You spend more time on a holiday with you're fellow firefighter than you do with you're family. (although its a good excuse to get out of going over to your inlaws house) You know you're a firefighter if you want to keep the fire truck at your house just so that you can be the one to drive it! (Scotty Warren, Hall Summit Vol. Fire Dept.). you are a ff if you refer to yourself as Satan and the fire as your house if your house is on fire and you still respond to the station You talk about alcohol foams and you are not refering to the head of your beer. when you wish some Fragrance manufacturer would bottle the burnt smell after a fire and used as a mens spray cologne.(Topper) Your idea of ventilation is done with a chainsaw and not a bag-valve-mask. You have ever dressed from head to foot in rubber and it was not a sexual experience. You run towards a dangerous situation instead of away if you ever said that real fire trucks/engines are RED DAMMIT!!!! you have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there (North Bienville Paish Fire Dept) All of your calenders have every third day circled. (Capt. Ron) You've been called a nozzle hog.  (Capt. Ron) If you collect fire helmets and hang them on your bedroom wall and so far have one of each color. (wife of a Lt.)  You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm - in case there's a fire started by lightening. (JE, Echo Fire Dept., Echo, OR) You stay in town during the 4th of July - in case there's a fire started by fireworks. (JE, Echo Fire Dept., Echo, OR) If you are running in the opposite direction of everyone else  you refer to a room at 1300 F as "Toasty".  you respond to sound better than Pavlov's Dog.  the term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle when you are the mother of the bride and you tell everyone in the wedding party, nobody moves when the pagers went off during the ceremony.(karen)  you have more lights on your personal vehicle than your dept's trucks If nine out of the ten toys your child receives for Christmas are fire trucks  If you play with the fire toys more than your child does. You know you're a firefighter if your idea of a water fight includes a 100ft. tower with dual monitors, and several shots of 2.5 inch lines If you wash your Fire Truck more than your personal vehicle. (Jesse SpringFD) If "humping hose" doesn't excite you. When you call ur friend in Maryland, you live in Nevada, and get jealous and turned on at the same time when he gets toned out you've ever felt like a ghost-buster while operating a water-vac  you've ever stood on a street corner holding a bunker boot asking for donations you monitor other city's fire dispatch and miss a call for your own. you get excited over the color red and the smell of diesel Your idea of a good time involves soaking the new probies. if someone starts reciting movie lines from "Backdraft" at a fire.